I often hear the following argument about women who wear revealing clothing. That those women are purely advertising themselves to the opposite sex, “showing off the goods”, “putting it out there”. Whilst those who wear more discreet clothing, who cover up their bodies, are “keeping men wanting more”, or adding an “air of mystery”. For the purpose of this post, I’m going to work on the basis that the argument is being made about the former, by the latter.
Whilst we can start out by calling up this argument on being judgemental, accusatory, and hateful, and for assuming heterosexuality (why always just to appeal to the opposite sex?) there are two big problems that I have with this sentiment that rarely seem to be called out.
First. Let’s look at the woman who’s showing off her body. Why is it assumed that a woman wears small clothing in order to tempt someone into sex? Why do we prefer to believe that a woman can’t think for herself enough to make a decision on what she wears without simply wanting to appeal to other people? As a woman who once hated her body, and as a woman who has previously believed and worried about all of the archaic bullsh*t that exists around what a woman “should” look like, I can tell you straight. I dress for nobody but myself. I worked hard to get to a place where I actually like the way I feel. I exercise and I eat healthy- it’s good for my mind and my body. I personally like the look of a toned torso, I aimed for it, and now I believe I have a right to exhibit it, because it makes me feel good, and not because it makes anyone else feel good, or bad, or indifferent. Please do not assume that I did all of this in the insecure hope that a man would like me and want to have sex with me.
Second. Let’s look at the woman who isn’t showing off her body. The claim here, is that by covering up some of the more “provocative” areas of the torso, this woman is adding that air of mystery that begs the looker to want to see more. Tell me if I’m way off here, but is this not the very thing that she’s accusing Ms. Skimpy of? Dressing purely in order to attract? Be it through obvious or subtle means, we’re talking about the same side of the coin here.
Personally, I choose not to judge. If you want to wear overalls or a bikini, I have no problem with either, and why on Earth would I? I don’t mind if you choose to dress in order to attract, though I do happen to believe that dressing for yourself is far more important, and if you’re really bothered, it’s also more attractive in any case.
Wear whatever you want to wear, with pride, and confidence, and respect, and for yourself. And let the vague, hypocritical, opinions of others wash over you!
With Love💟, Peace✌, and Strength💪 Gem